Hello, It’s me. Insert witty Adele comment here. I know, I know, it’s been a while. I say this at the risk of sounding like I think I’m something amazing, but I’m sorry. I know it’s been a long time since I’ve written and believe me I’ve thought of you. I’ve had a lot on my mind lately and a lot of things have transpired since I last sat down and dusted off my MacBook. The main reason I’ve been distant is that I’m sitting down to write –or at least in my mind I’m sitting–usually I’m not doing much of anything at all!!–but I’m ACTUALLY working towards putting my memoir together. This sounds thrilling, exciting, and super cool–except you don’t have to do it–I do! It’s really going to be a long winded project that takes super focus and a lot of hard work!

Lately, I haven’t done anything for it or the blog and I’m getting lost in my thoughts, which tend to be very discouraging. So here’s the deal, plain and simple– I want to write a NYT best selling memoir, but I also want to write with the people in mind. Sounds exorbitant I know. Trust me, that’s been one of my major discouragers is just the thought of sharing my story in such a way that it makes a major impact on people, yet is a work of art that is honored by NYT. Sometimes I think about my life and think, who would want to even read about me? It’s almost as if I’m lost in my own insecurities. That wind in my sail that gave me the idea is slowly waning and I’m at risk of falling down into the pits. I’d love your input and advice. Part of me wants to forget the whole NYT thing until it’s time to revise, revise, revise. The other part of me is like, this is just one more goal in life that’s lofty but attainable! I think back at some of my greatest personal and professional accomplishments and realize any huge dream is possible with hard work and determination. I remember the 2012 Women’s Leadership Summit at NIU, or when I achieved Million Dollar Revenue Credit Club in 2014. Talking to myself here, YOU’VE HIT MAJOR GOALS and you’ve lead a fascinating life. You can do it!! BUT, I need major focus. I’m lacking that these days. It’s hard because in this season, I’m trying to really focus on healing, therapy and my recovery. I’ve had some really insane moments, seen some crazy things and I’m kind of in this holding pattern for life right now. I guess I’m asking for your advice. If you’ve taken time to read this, comment and let me know some good advice for this season I am in. Any thoughts on my memoir? Shooting for NYT, but wanting it to be for the people–weigh in! A little constructive criticism never hurts. Negative comments, keep to yourself! 🙂

I am just like the quote in the picture–a small boat trying to make major waves in the vast Ocean!

Love you!

Alli