Killswitch

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They want a pretty girl, a quiet girl–someone who blends into a riot world.

They want a Jesus girl, a peaceful girl, a go-with-the-flow, straight up meek-like girl.

They want a square to fit into a square kind of girl, don’t make a sound kind of girl, be careful don’t make waves kind of girl.

They want a girl who isn’t me kind of girl.

She’s a loud girl, can’t hear too well girl, sometimes she dwells girl.

She never fit in with the crowd girl, plays with the line kind of girl.

She’s a wild girl, independent and can’t be tamed kind of girl–everybody can steal her heart kind of girl, but won’t settle or settle down kind of girl.

She’s the one who holds the killswitch, shuts it down kind of girl.

She’ll tell you straight to your face, take it straight to the dome, slap you right in your face kind of girl. She doesn’t fuck around kind of girl, aint tryna be clowned type of girl.

Her eyes are wide open, she’s awake and aware–see’s what you’re doing and wont fall into your snares type of girl.

She’ll keep it so real you check your own self, challenge your own reality kind of girl.

She’s a lady above all else, check a brother so quick he forget himself.

She doesn’t trust many, doesn’t trust you or your nanny.

She lives in her own little oyster, knows what she likes and how she likes it–doesn’t waste time or resources, but is resourceful and rises above every challenge.

Let me break it down to you like this….

I’ve toed the line for far too long, the line of graceful eloquence with a pinch of bad bitch, I’ve stayed quiet for convenience and acceptance when I wanted to scream the truth, my truth, for far too long. Say goodbye to the girl you thought you knew–pictures strewn on social media portraying a person I’m not, because she was a hollow shell of the woman emerging–she’s constantly evolving. It will get ugly before you see the beauty, in all of it’s finished glory. I’m a time bomb, a ticking clock, ready to explode like a cake falling in the oven over the slightest bump. I’m full of anger, full of rage, sometimes it’s funneled and sometimes uncontained. I’m full of intellect, intelligence, ambition and drive–I’ll be the first person at the end of the day to surprise you and surpass you. Intellectually competent, beautiful inside and out, driven to success are proven ingredients in my DNA. This is just one step in my journey, I might be lost but I’m not down for the count–and I’m most certainly not OUT. You want to diss me and dismiss me, but you don’t know the warrior inside of me and the strength she possesses. Like the star on a bristling tree, I will shine for all the World to see one day and I believe you will live to see it.

Till then I’ll keep every one of you on your toes, wanting and grasping for more, but you’ll never have me. You’ll be grasping at mist, as I’m off and onto the next twist.

xoxo

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