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Another day comes and goes and I’ve made sure over the years I’ve tucked you neatly in the deep recesses of my heart. Today was unusual. I was reading Us Weekly and Oasis came up so I wanted to revisit their songs–which of course led to Punk Goes Acoustic–which led to bawling my eyes out. It’s so crazy how I can push you so far away from my memory and even put to rest the fact that you’re never coming back, yet the minute I hear those songs we talked about and I’m a weeping mess. All I have is our memories which I treasure when I am brave enough to let them out and revisit them. I’ve tried for as long as I can to revive life into the death you put between us. I can only do so much. It doesn’t take away the hurt or erase your memory. I wish I could find someone who adored me the way you did. I’m sorry I never acknowledged it. I was so self absorbed and going through my own life trying to figure out how I wanted to live it. I had to go off and forge my own way and honestly it’s made me the woman I am today. There’s more I’d say but I don’t want to do so publicly. I wish you well in whatever makes you happy. I wish I could be a friend to see it, but I know that you will go far, as you already have. Just don’t forget your first and favorite muse.

For now, I tuck you neatly back where I keep you, a part of my heart that I revisit ever so often.

I guess the most that I can do
Is make a call and tell you the truth
Sing the words in melody
And hope that you’ll believe me
Here’s another song for you
So this one this one makes two
Still don’t know where to begin
I’ll just leave it at this
I’m sure you always feel my eyes on you
But i hope that you will never feel unwanted
Wait for me to move out west
It’s ok if you don’t
I hope you know
You’re my favorite thing
About the west coast
I wish I stayed
I hope you wait
So here I am
Counting down the days
Till California comes
This is the least that I can do
You know I’m bad at calling you
The best way I can accept
The lonely words I miss you
I’ll say it but I’m sure you knew
You’re what I look most forward to
Coming back to where I’ve been
I’ll just leave it at this
I’m sure you always feel my eyes on you
But I hope that you will never feel unwanted
If you feel unwanted
Wait for me to move out west
It’s ok if you don’t
I hope you know
You’re my favorite thing
About the west coast
I wish I stayed
I hope you wait
So here I am
Counting down the days
Till California comes
Wait for me to move out west
It’s ok if you don’t
I hope you know
You’re my favorite thing
About the west coast
I wish I stayed
I hope you wait
So here I am
Counting down the days
Till California comes
Till California comes

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