you ARE a world changer.

My faith entered the dark room the first Wednesday in January of 2008. Since then I have been locked in on the wildest most exhilarating and excruciating journey of my life. There have been mind-blowing mountain top experiences and lows so low I felt I was on my spiritual death bed. I want to encourage […]

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note to self

Elation fills up my soul today. I’m happy because I always overcome. Pain comes in like a flood overtaking me, changing me. As it washes out, I am filled with a quiet peace. Intimacy has made itself one with me through standing strong against the storm. From it, I’m forged. Day by day, little by […]

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not a haiku

It’s like all the color just bleeds out of me and I’m left with grey. I need respite but I can only pray. Mounting health concerns and shifting mind, make it hard for myself to find. pray for me waiting out the storm trying to figure out what next steps

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Blank

They say “you’re so pretty” I know in that moment she meant it. Feels empty when I’ve been the same person all along. It’s so hard to stand still in a crowded room. I wonder how many people truly feel as sad as I do. I sit by the river because it doesn’t judge me […]

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The Dip

This is my first post of 2018 and I’m not going to sugar coat anything. I am going to be completely transparent and real with you. In the past few years I have slept most of my life away, sat through grueling therapy sessions, and spent six months in a group therapy program. I’ve moved […]

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Musings on a train

Sweat beads off the hills of my cheek. I wipe it off like the smile I hide when I turn in at night. I hold back deep, dried out wells of tears. I can’t bring myself to heave and sob like I did when I cried out to God. Instead, I tell myself to turn […]

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Wide Open Spaces of Grace

Two roads diverged in a wood, and I— I took the one less traveled by, And that has made all the difference. .Robert Frost. I’m pretty sure that life is an enigma that I will never fully understand. When I compare myself to the journeys of others, my life seems like a complicated, unsolved math […]

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not finished yet

  Kindness is an act of benevolence. So if being kind is one of the purest forms of altruism, why am I afraid? We’ve been conditioned to distrust from as early as our ability to comprehend and respond. Don’t talk to strangers they said, use the buddy system we were told. I find the line […]

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Killswitch

They want a pretty girl, a quiet girl–someone who blends into a riot world. They want a Jesus girl, a peaceful girl, a go-with-the-flow, straight up meek-like girl. They want a square to fit into a square kind of girl, don’t make a sound kind of girl, be careful don’t make waves kind of girl. […]

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