rough draft dg.doc

i’m drowning, but i’m paralyzed. like i’m stuck between two floors, trapped in an elevator i’m torn, forlorn. i’m defeated and deflated of all that is within me to fight once more. I know you feel it too. We slowly detach, knowing less and less about one another and for some reason that’s okay to […]

The Sky Is Falling

In one day Pearl Harbor changed the course of American history– that’s the best example of the intensity I felt when the suicidal ideation rolled in like a storm front changing the climate of my life. This storm wasn’t a quiet interruption in my day, it was more like a natural disaster creating a war […]

not a haiku

It’s like all the color just bleeds out of me and I’m left with grey. I need respite but I can only pray. Mounting health concerns and shifting mind, make it hard for myself to find. pray for me waiting out the storm trying to figure out what next steps

I’m Sorry I’m Not Here

It’s crazy how another soul can walk into your home and have absolutely zero idea of the emptiness, loneliness and desperation you are grappling with internally. I see why people give up–nobody can see into them, nobody is connected anymore. What can you do for me? What do I need to do for you so […]

Blank

They say “you’re so pretty” I know in that moment she meant it. Feels empty when I’ve been the same person all along. It’s so hard to stand still in a crowded room. I wonder how many people truly feel as sad as I do. I sit by the river because it doesn’t judge me […]

Love and eulogy

Of all the loves I’ve had, I know theres a reservation in my heart just for you. If patience is a virtue, I must be a demi god. I’ve loved and deeply cared for many and I’ve taken a piece of them with me that I hold closely onto my heart. Those memories are always […]

The Dip

This is my first post of 2018 and I’m not going to sugar coat anything. I am going to be completely transparent and real with you. In the past few years I have slept most of my life away, sat through grueling therapy sessions, and spent six months in a group therapy program. I’ve moved […]