When the night is darkest your praise must be its loudest…

When the night is darkest your praise must be its loudest...

That’s right. Because, I, your God,

Have a firm grip on you and I’m not letting go. I’m telling you, ‘Don’t panic. I’m right here to help you.’

Another late night, and another night full of thoughts and concerns. You know, you can’t really miss something that wasn’t truly there. Most of the things you worry about, never happen. Worry is a funny thing. It’s a thief in disguise. The worrier feels a sense of control because they are busy worrying, but not a single thing is being accomplished. Nothing has been done except time has been wasted, truly unproductive aside from robbing you of joy and peace. What is it that you are worrying about? Honestly, life just happens. You have very little control over some of the things that happen, or are about to happen. Even in death, we know we are on a countdown till it’s arrival but we never truly know just when it’s moment shows up. We are unaware until we are in the midst of it and even then, there is nothing we can do to change it. A lot of people are worried about the end of the world and honestly, I’ve given it some thought. It would be a terrible time to happen now, there is so much I have yet to do. I am not who I know I am meant to be and and nowhere near where I know I am bound to be. There is simply too much life to live, and yet even still time feels like it’s running faster than I can catch her and seemingly spinning beyond my control. A thought occurred to me, when I was pondering the thought.

…Am I going to believe the Mayans or believe God? Am I going to believe a calendar made by people who are dead and gone or am I going to believe in the Word of God?

That’s not to say that their ancestry hasn’t continued on. I’m sure Mayan’s still exist today. What I am referring to is the fact that, where is their representation? Where are the Mayans of today? What is their response to the interpretation of this calendar? I don’t know, but I haven’t seen any recent ABC News or CNN headlines. I haven’t heard of any Mayans coming forward, today, agreeing in this prophecy. But I do know of people who proclaim the truth of God’s word today. I’ve witnessed first hand the truth in His Word. And when my life has gone haywire, it’s the anchor keeping my vessel firm while the waves rage on.

So when He tells me not to panic, that He is right there— I take Him at His word.

So few things in this life are worth counting on. So many things, people, fail us. They disappoint us. They let us down. They aren’t reliable. They aren’t consistent. God, I’m not even consistent. I am honestly currently working on that in my own life. If I can’t trust my own self to be consistent, than how can we truly say that others can be consistent for us. Think about that? If you can’t even keep your own agreements— your own new years resolutions, your very own promises to yourself and to others, how can we ever trust others with that? Or even things? How can we look to inanimate objects or people to be our source for consistent happiness, joy & fulfillment?

It’s funny how you can think you know someone so well, and when you remove yourself from the middle of being in relation with them, that you can see that they are people who have qualities and behaviors you yourself didn’t even really recognize. I’m sure you are reading this now, thinking, who is this girl? How have I never seen this side of her before? I didn’t realize she talked like that, or related in that way, or thought that way. You just really never know. And some people bring out great things in you and you are the realest version of yourself around them, and other people bring out other aspects of you and you kind of meld to who they are and who you are around them.

One thing that is the same, and never changes is GOD. The same God of the Old Testament, to the new. He always brings out the best in others. He truly knows us, the deepest parts of ourselves. He created us. I said it. Honestly, the fact that you can read this and comprehend it is not a random act of chaos. Name one thing on Earth that is completely purposeless? Everything has it’s proper place, even if it’s just a place setting.

Your life is nothing short of a completely mind-boggling miracle. Thank GOD. Thank God that there are things in life we will never understand, like why we have tailbones. I mean really. I think I can thank my tailbone for sheltering my spine when I have fallen many times snowboarding, but who would have thunk?

I say all this to say, that there is validity in God. I don’t care what you think, what you believe, or how ridiculous this may come across. I get it. I was there before, and I’ve found myself there many times since. But something happened one day, and it wasn’t something I really chose or asked for, although I guess in a way I did. I accepted God into my heart and maybe that time I really meant it, but I haven’t been able to get rid of Him since. It’s not like I try to get rid of Him, but He has this all consuming way about Him. He quite simply will not leave me alone. I really can not deviate from the path I feel He has set out for me, and His love follows me— even when I try to run away. I always think I can do better without His input and always try to do things alone. When things don’t work out the way I plan and I find myself in a desperate and unknown place— I always go back to Him asking Him for some sort of direction and of course I experience His amazing love and peace and presence, and wonder why I ever wandered from it in the first place.

Wow, this has to be the most random post ever, but I don’t believe in chance. I believe in purpose behind even the simplest things. In fact I was just told last week that something I said last Spring has been buzzing in this very accomplished person’s head. I didn’t even honestly remember telling her what she remembered, but I don’t doubt it. I’m always sharing something, for better or for worse. Let it be known that the simplest of actions, the smallest of sayings, the silliest of utterances are heard. They are noticed. You never really know what may come of it. In this case, it was an inspiring thought that she hasn’t been able to get out of her head. What a beautiful thing that life is. It always has it’s way of pleasantly surprising us.

Well, this is the best I’ve got for 2 AM.

Side note:

I’m not perfect, I don’t have all the answers, and I certainly am not GOD Himself. So take these thoughts with a grain of salt. Know that I, too, am a work in progress and I hope my honesty and transparency are well received. For now, Goodnight & rest well. Or good morning & sieze the day! xoxo Alicia

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